Building Your Child’s Self Esteem

A couple of weeks ago we attended a Region of Peel parenting workshop. There are multiple titles in this series of workshops and they are dotted around Peel at different locations. The workshops are free and childcare is provided if you bring your children. The workshop we attended was all about “Your Child’s Self Esteem”. The presentation was very informative and a great reminder of things we do with our children and how we can do better. Below I have sumerized some main points from the workshop.

Firstly what is the broad definition of self-esteem? Self esteem is the value we place on ourselves. It is our feelings towards how we see ourselves to be and knowing that we are loved, capable and unique.

Instilling a sense of good self esteem in children means developing:

  • a healthy view of themselves
  • a sense of self worth
  • a positive outlook
  • a sense of satisfaction within themselves
  • an ability to set realistic goals

Six ways in which we can develop our children’s self esteem:

  1. Love and Acceptance – Give unconditional love, spend time together, show that you feel good about them, tell them often how you feel about them and their actions.
  2. Sense of belonging – Create an environment where your children feel safe, comfortable enough to openly communicate their thoughts and ideas with you. Encourage pride in your families ethnic background and heritage. Maintain and build healthy relationships with family and your community.
  3. Trust and Respect – Consistency in environment, routine and limits builds trust. There must also be consistency in your actions, non verbal and verbal. Children feel important and develop respect for themselves if they are listened to attentively with respect and their opinions are valued.
  4. Confidence – Encourage your child to face challenges and take risks. Teach your child how to make decisions and set goals for themselves. Provide opportunities for your child to take responsibility for their actions.

Lastly I learnt the importance of encouragement versus praise. I’ve said to the twins time and time again “You are such a good boy” or “I’m so proud of you” but these statements diminish their ability to make judgements. Encouraging them would be to highlight their effort in reaching the goal. This way they can judge how satisfied they are and how they might want to change.

Below are some resources that were recommended:

Kids Are Worth It: Raising Resilient, Responsible, Compassionate Kids

Full Esteem Ahead: 100 Ways To Build Self-Esteem In Children And Adults

If you live in Peel region I would definitely recommend these workshops. You can register online here: Parenting Workshops.

Happy Parenting xx


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